Busyness is Not a Badge of Honor

Why do we proudly wear busyness like a badge of honor, even as it chips away at our health, relationships, and happiness? 

Somewhere along the way, we’ve been conditioned to believe that being busy equals being successful. But truthfully, this mindset is more harmful than productive. 

I know this from experience. It robbed me of years of my life before I learned an important lesson: Being “busy” is not something to celebrate. It’s time we take a hard look at our lives, challenge the glorification of busyness, and reclaim our time to live with intention.

The Myth of Busyness as Success

How "Busy" Became a Status Symbol

For years, I defined myself by how packed my calendar was. I filled my days to the brim and often bragged about having no time for anything else. It made me feel important, necessary, and valued. 

And it seemed like everyone around me was doing the same. Every time I encountered a friend, colleague, or stranger and asked, “How are you?” they would answer with “I[m sooo busy!”.

Society trains us to believe that being busy means we are thriving. But while busyness looks impressive on the outside, it often hides deep inefficiencies and emotional exhaustion.

The Illusion of Productivity

Busyness lies to us. It tells us that long hours and endless multitasking mean we’re productive, but often, the opposite is true. 

Reflecting on my busiest times, I can now successfully recognize what I call "Busy Traps." In tracking these habits, I realized how much time I spent on low-value tasks, like attending unproductive meetings or answering emails on a loop. 

The truth is, busyness does not equal productivity. It’s time to break free from this lie.

The Cost of Wearing "Busy" as a Badge of Honor

Mental and Physical Toll

Living in constant busyness comes at a significant cost. It damages our health, our minds, and our spirits. According to my 2024 State of Workplace Busyness Report, 80% of people feel overwhelmed and struggle with mental health. What’s worse is that 75% report losing sleep because their minds are stuck on their to-do lists, and 87% admit to neglecting proper nutrition and movement.

I learned this lesson the hard way during one of my busiest phases. Years ago, during a marketing meeting at BlueCross BlueShield, I collapsed from a heart attack. That terrifying moment forced me to confront the toxic relationship I had developed with busyness. If we don’t address the toll of staying busy, it will catch up with us in ways we cannot ignore.

Broken Human Connections

Busyness doesn’t just harm our health; it also distances us from what truly matters. 

My friend Kathy worked three jobs so her daughter could always have a full belly and new clothes. She admitted to me that giving her child things she never had was a compulsion of hers, so she became obsessed with working all the time so she could make more money to buy her daughter more things. I can remember telling her one day, 'Slow down, your daughter doesn't need things; she needs you.' 

It’s moments like these, lost in the noise of our endless tasks, that we regret the most when we look back. Relationships are the glue that holds us together, and when we prioritize busyness over connection, we lose a vital part of ourselves.

The Productivity Paradox

Busyness also traps us in a paradox. We think working harder and longer will lead to more success, but it often results in the opposite. 

I was addicted to being busy. I remember spending hours every night pouring over emails and attempting to cross everything off my to-do list for a quick dopamine hit. It eventually burned me out. I didn’t realize then that productivity isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing what matters most and managing our energy effectively.

Why We Can’t Stop the Cycle of Busyness

Addiction to Validation

Why are we addicted to busyness? Because it rewards us with little bursts of validation. Every email sent, every meeting attended, and every task completed gives us a high, tricking us into thinking we’re moving forward. But what I learned is that this kind of validation is fleeting, and eventually, the cycle leaves us empty.

Social Comparison and the Hustle Culture

Another reason we can’t stop? We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others. Early in my career, I pushed myself to keep up with colleagues who seemed more accomplished or put-together. I worked longer hours to prove my worth, chasing an invisible finish line. Instead of aligning my time with my values, I was running someone else’s race.

Breaking Free from the Busyness Trap

The Power of Alignment

Breaking free begins by asking the right questions. What matters most to you? What are you really trying to achieve? I developed a Values Quadrant framework to help others align their actions with their values. 

It focuses on Connection, Energy, Curiosity, and Authenticity. When I started using this approach, I completely transformed my mornings. I traded endless email checking for focused, high-value work that energized me.

Energy Management over Time Management

Once I stopped prioritizing busyness, I realized time management wasn’t my problem. Energy management was. I began structuring my day around periods of peak energy, focusing on creativity and problem-solving when I was at my best. Short breaks became essential. They might seem small, but they helped me stay refreshed and focused all day long.

Actionable Steps for Breaking the Busyness Cycle

1. Assess Your Habits
   Take the Busy Barometer Assessment and reflect on where your time goes. This tool is outlined in my book, Beyond Busyness: How to Achieve More by Doing Less, and will help you uncover your busyness level and gain personalized insights to prioritize what truly matters in your life.
   
   

2. Make One Small Change Daily
   Start small, like canceling one unnecessary meeting or dedicating 10 minutes for self-reflection.
   
   

3. Build Supportive Accountability
   Surround yourself with others who value intentional living.
   

Remove the Busy Badge of Honor

Busyness isn’t a badge of honor; it’s a barrier between you and a fulfilling life. Take a moment today to assess your habits, realign with your values, and take one small step toward clarity and meaning. Remember, as I remind myself every day, “You can’t connect, grow, or be authentic if you’re addicted to being busy.”

Discover how you can reclaim your time and live intentionally. Purchase my book, Beyond Busyness, and start your transformation today.

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